Thought of the day
short write ups containing insights relating to the present
A mixed day
My wife is not perfect, nor am I. This is what marriage is, the tolerance of imperfection while thinking one is perfect but the other is imperfect and the feeling being mutual. In a relationship besides marriage, this is unsustainable. Friends will just part ways, work relations will just quit. But marriages are a bit…
In the mind of a modern buddha
Today I am feeling so lazy. I needed some dopamine so i did some online chatting. I want to go swim. As I watch various people today who are in the streets to play holi festival, I realize we are all products of eletric signals and chemicals running in our bodies. When we look at…
swimming
Swimming is my highest luxury. For many it is. I have this luxury again after 2 years of corona. Swimming makes me feel calm and privileged, albeit in various ways depending on the time of my life. There was a time i was so arrogant about my ability and capacity to afford to swim daily….
Renewed
I have truely changed in the last week. The duality was transformed successfully from sex to business. still more programing is needed inside but it is a job done. I am 48. I will be 50 in 2 years. I am just beginning to realize that i have 40 full years to contribute my knowledge…
Teaching an old dog , a new trick
Today has just been a bad day in the sense that i had to ask for many rejections. 3 from potential tenants. 1 about my last training. and another about the fact that still no concrete answer has come about the C-SOLD project. I was filled with cortisol until i made the correct realization about…
At the cliff
Especially today I felt like a new time or new era has come for me. After very long I did not know what to do. The online chatting developed in me a missing quality of humility and removed the fear of rejection. Also it added a skill of babbling, hustling and being shameless. In order…
which way?
I have become amazingly calm. The thoughts of a failed career, even doesn’t annoy me. I am 48, I have achieved enough to be happy even if nothing more meterializes. I am wondering which direction my career will go: will I join a single bank & put my knowledge in use for 1 will I…
Being Pure
I am pensive now. I had let my wild-hood come out safely. Now I am calm, slowly coming back. I just needed to be wild, do crazy stuff, out of my character, be someone I am not. But even then I could not hide my goodness. People will never find what I found: it requires…
Dopamine
It has been about 3 months since I re-started online chatting. This served me Calm myself like alcohol or cigarettes would do. I am filled with dopamine, esterogen, androgen & oxytocin. I discovered a lot about human biology or chemistry. I realise people get out of control & this phase become an addiction. In my…
Lucid Living
Did I tell you that I write down my dreams every night? It has been 1.5 years and have done it every night. After i wake up I get my mobile and write in short form. That can happen upto 6 times a night. then in the afternoon I edit into a readable format. Dreams…