I am pensive now. I had let my wild-hood come out safely. Now I am calm, slowly coming back.
I just needed to be wild, do crazy stuff, out of my character, be someone I am not. But even then I could not hide my goodness.
People will never find what I found: it requires too much synchronity, attunement , wisdom.
what use is too much money? Even when I got back to work, money was not important like before: I transcended my basic desire for power & status. yet it is so ingrained in us. But now I am not tormented by it.
This time the chatting enabled me to lose whatever arrogance, snobbiness I had left. I could feel the change when I interated with people in training without pomp.
I had been having dreams of women. There must be lots of Karma I must end.
one girl enabled me to repent over Bern.
No one can understand my madness that only I can afford. This is why I can be so pure.
