When I see people who are not sociable, who don’t behave like they should, I don’t condemn them, as most people do. I look behind the façade. That lack of proper etiquette is usually a defense mechanism they developed to cope with negative events in their lives in the past that they could not understand and have not been able to process till date.
I feel sorry for them. They might never get liberated from that pain that simply a few minutes of proper counseling could have mitigated.
My own life has been with so many such negative events that could have paralyzed me or made me into a numb guy. Same was with my mother, at even a larger scale. Even my wife suffered so much as she grew up. Yet we all were guided from the same force and came out pretty much clean and same. We abide to a common goodness.
However there are many people who abide to a frightening darkness, a force that is misguided in every way but pose as righteous and perfect. It is these people who come out of negative life events harmed in a dangerous way. The worst part is that they are not aware it is a dangerous path.
Liberation for these people is almost impossible. It is sad. They could be happy but they choose to be unhappy.
So I always look behind the mask. It is difficult to be angry at anyone now.
I was 12 when my father died. It was difficult to reconcile and I lost my adolescence and even my childhood. But I made it out when I had the opportunity and then I dropped it when I was satiated.
My mother had her mother die when she was less than 5 and left by her father. But she stayed strong.
My wife had to take care of an almost dying father when she was 16 and she lost her adolescence like I did. She live that part of her life in our marriage. I knew. So I always let her be and show any madness she wanted. Now she is over that phase of her life.
Everyone has a story.
I just want to remember the story of my cousins whom I don’t usually care about.
They too were around 12 to 15 when their father lost his mind, and entered severe depression and multiple personality disorder. I was in my twenties then and never asked them how they coped with this difficult times. Now I just wonder how they might had to reconcile such a terrible event in their lives. Then today we wonder why they have such behavioral problems. It is a magic that they at least had a normal and successful life in comparison to others.
Everyone has suffered. The difference is how we come out of it.
The saddest part of pain, is that it won’t go away until you learn from it, realize and transform into the new person that pain needs you to be.
