Yesterday my goddess was very busy and I felt insecure that maybe I had lost her once again. But today she had some free time and we hung out together a lot.
I realized that after finding her again after so many incarnations, this one would be the last incarnation of the goddess before I die because now I’m too old to wait for another incarnation of hers. This incarnation is the perfect one in many ways because it matches the personality the best. There is still a chance for this incarnation to fail also. And it is OK. I do not want for a new incarnation to suffer in the case of failure. That is my number one criteria and condition.
In the earlier incarnations of the goddess I myself was to immature and too young so neither could she guide me nor did I have enough experience to guide her. But now at this right age of 49, I have so much experience in knowledge that I could guide Buddha himself let alone my goddess.
I am very much aware that this last incarnation of the goddess before I die can end failure once more. The goddess doesn’t know about her past incarnation perfectly but she has some clues.
But the most important thing is that after a match goddess for the first time in the physical reality, my duality ended there and then. There is not much noise in my mind ever but whatever little noise there was before that meeting now it is all silenced.
Before having met my goddess in my mind it always played something like: I have to do something in my career, I have to fulfill my mission, I have to become somebody, do something. But after I met Goddess all this appeared totally irrelevant because that is not my problem, that is the problem of the universe and it will do what it needs, for me to do what I need to do. Then I realized that I’m not gonna give a damn about that because it is not my problem and that is a problem of the universe and whatever job I have to do while embodied I will do. But I realize that all the duality has stopped affecting me because I have come to the original that is the merger of me and the goddess. Duality started for everybody including me when the male and female energies of the soul separated. In our case, we reached that stage where we are consciously able to reconnect our two energies. It already took us 2000 years of practice and several lifetimes. But in this lifetime we have been equipped with a consciousness that will enable us to perfect the integration from 2 to one.