I am going through some inner evolution in consciousness: a quantum leap into another orbit of consciousness. I have been through many such leaps and this one is markedly, what should I say, definitive. I just feel I am living the 15th chapter of the Gita: the yoga of the supreme person.
- I perceive me as the soul separate from the body and mind and even the soul.
- I see the other people as actors playing a role in a movie being written by the combination of individual, collective and universal karma
- I see how the 3 motivators are compelling the souls inside the actors towards playing their roles and parts
- I realize all the promises of the 3 motivators are total bogus standing from stand-point of the super-soul and only certain karma’s are useful, those that can be transfered to the super-soul
- I see myself as good as dead and it doesn’t matter even if I live
- I struggle to have any desires and aspirations
- Even Buddha who is my master, seems so far away just like another actor in the movie of life
I don’t however feel power:
- to affect change in my own day to day life
- to see into the future
- to understand the actual mechanism of the universe, besides a general but radical model I have had since 2 years of an eternal cycle of big bangs and big crunches
- to influence anyone or any events
- to do something immense, incredible or historical
However in the back drop I have some unrelenting ideas that:
- the prophecy that I will change the world and that I will be the greatest man on earth, will materialize, simply because of the amount of knowledge and experience that I have even before turning 50
- that like before I will get work that will keep sustaining me financially, emotionally and intellectually
- that after 60, I will travelling around a lot with my family a lot to spread my knowledge
- that from 50 to 60, I will be busy in Nepal
I guess this is the best way I can describe the consciousness shift I am undergoing now.
Also I feel slow in both body and mind. My mind is not agitated in anyways.
But I believe because of my capacity to absorb so much endorphin and oxytocin since decades, this time it is not causing much disturbances. To anyone else this state of exhaliration would cripple and turn one into a psycho.
