When I was young and even now, I had this dream of traveling the world like most of the people. My world tour objective however was always different from others. I wanted to understand the similarity and differences between people, their lives and the feeling each place had.
Ideally I would have wanted to be making documentaries from this angle.
But having travelled already, I know it is not easy and traveling is too hyped up. That is why I love going nowhere now.
Now with corona virus, it is most likely that I will not be travelling in this life.
What people don’t know is that travelling is a hard thing. It is nothing like a holiday. If it was not work then why the hell travel? Stay home. When travelling you need to plan, make best use of a one time opportunity.
I had this dream of taking my wife to paris, but I guess that too will just remain a dream. Even without corona it was doubtful but now it is even more so. Travelling is not something on our agenda just a fanciful lofty concept that we may act on if all stars align, which do at times.
But more that I just curious not even worried about the career that I will have next.
The world has become a different place. I know I will benefit from this even though now I don’t know how.
I just miss being important. It is something that I cannot manufacture.
I feel sad that no one needs me and no one is willing to pay me to help them.
These two things are very important part of life that I have lost along with billions of others.
I tell you it was such a ego booster when people flew me around the country to speak, to train. Now it is all gone.
This breaks my heart.
I don’t know how I will enter the work force again. Millions have no option as they owe stuff in the old world so they will die fighting to get things back or fending off. Other billions will do anything they can lay their hands on pressed by poverty or emptiness.
But I have a choice. I don’t have to work for money or even for meaning. So whatever I do it must be something that it truly important. Even though I wish I knew what this new mission is, I don’t want to know until it is unavoidable.
I have come to terms to unemployment.
