today has been a quiet day inside. I gave up the tension that I have to something for the world. I am holding no position in this difficult time. if this crisis had occured when I was at ace or later, i would have had so much stress. I would have had to give counseling to the owners and fire employees. On my personal side, I would have lacked money and would have to ask my mother to give the rest of the money to finance the house.
Sometimes I worry that i will be lost from the history of life but even if it was so, why would it matter?
So since today I just decided to think of today, not tomorrow.
I always thought my samadhi had some material objective but may be it doesn’t matter. Even if there was a connection it cannot be me who will make it.
So the hell to worry.
And so i take life slowly, easily.
