at the crossroad of life again

March 14, 2024
3 min read

I am again at a crossroad of my life in terms of career. I managed to finish three major books and now writing is not such a great task for me and I can keep writing all my life so I don’t need to give full time and energy to it. I’m planning to do something this year but I don’t know what to do yet. I’ve knocked on several doors so far and none of them opened which is a sign for me that that’s not the way I should be going. There are other doors I still know that I have still not knocked at and there are some doors that I need to knock several more times before I say quit.

I have been in this situation so many times in my life that I almost know the drill and what to do after certain things happen.

Should I be going in the direction of working solo and stay focused in one big organization or should I start my mission in life and offer many organizations my services? Should I work on my own or should I involve other people? I have realized that following through and marketing is no more my area of expertise even though I know very well how to do it and I can do it but because of my age and nature of work it is no longer feasible for me to be doing those and I need to give that job to somebody else.

There are tough choices I need to make. I’m not scared of the hard work and the loss of status. This year I am totally free and reinvigorated so I know that I will start eventually.

I’d like one hour 30 years old now in my 50th year I don’t need to take up any jobs that come along and I can or I have to choose very critically measuring up whether these opportunities match with my current objectives and are not threats to my current work and whether there is any threat that I cannot mitigate that’s not worth it. So in the last 20 years my life has changed.

I realize that watching the feeds on Facebook can link it ink was pointless degrading and demoralizing. I don’t know how all those people in those feeds I guess they are used to that shit and they don’t know any better. But I realized that it’s not for me was never for me and the past days of experimenting on consuming that nonsense and misguidance was a danger for the soul. I have a mission and now the activities are different but I will discover what is it that I have to do.

The coming month is gonna be a hard one because I have to find a direction to move into and I would have to swallow my fried but it’s OK.