I had a very good long nap after so many days of busyness. I think of the direction of my career now, a lot with this new opportunity that I am sitting on. I dont know if I should pursue it till the end or just let it pass like all those before it.
Have i become cynical? May be. But I guess I have become more realistic. At times I was delusional. yet most if not the whole world is deluded the way I was then. To see the truth and the light is hard. it is what can i say, blinding.
Unlike the rest of the world, i see every day of life passing, every hour. I take nothing for granted.
I wanted to be so many things but I am what I am today. I am a free man belonging to no world.
If I continue with this college here are some of my concerns:
- can they understand my visions?
- will they gang up to overthrow me?
- will he pay me on time?
- will he pay me what i ask?
- am i asking too little or too much?
- has my time come?
- how long can they keep me?
- do i enjoy being with this young crowd?
- will my role expand overtime here?
I wish all the answers to these questions were positive. I waited a long time 3 years in belief.
Tomorrow is the end of the first series.