At the cliff
Especially today I felt like a new time or new era has come for me. After very long I did not know what to do. The online chatting developed in me a missing quality of humility and removed the fear of rejection. Also it added a skill of babbling, hustling and being shameless. In order…
which way?
I have become amazingly calm. The thoughts of a failed career, even doesn’t annoy me. I am 48, I have achieved enough to be happy even if nothing more meterializes. I am wondering which direction my career will go: will I join a single bank & put my knowledge in use for 1 will I…
Being Pure
I am pensive now. I had let my wild-hood come out safely. Now I am calm, slowly coming back. I just needed to be wild, do crazy stuff, out of my character, be someone I am not. But even then I could not hide my goodness. People will never find what I found: it requires…
Dopamine
It has been about 3 months since I re-started online chatting. This served me Calm myself like alcohol or cigarettes would do. I am filled with dopamine, esterogen, androgen & oxytocin. I discovered a lot about human biology or chemistry. I realise people get out of control & this phase become an addiction. In my…
2 busy weeks
It has been a very busy and full 2 weeks with one training after another. I am even tired. I have not worked this much since many years. But it was a nice change. I am so self fulfilled. I retired at 42, now it is almost 6 years and 3 years of corona sealed…
Energized
Lately I am seeing many dreams of being appointed as a chief with someone writing down documents to specify my work. I just wonder what is coming. I think i want to be a CEO, yes but of a big huge organization. Still i don’t think i am ready as i need to find the…
Some thoughts on my life
My tooth is hurting due to the RCT, and it makes me realize that even a buddha can’t have good teeth. I also need to check a smear in the face skin. Again it is karma i know and i need to take care of them. I am very calm at the end of the…
Triple Booking
As the corona pandemic is ending, my days are being booked rapidly so much i am afraid some clients will lose me. But now all this doesn’t bother me, thanks to corona. On the coming friday i had 3 bookings and thus was worried. one is confirmed, one is postponed and one is online. So…
No more fuss
These 3 corona breaks, have helped me grow tremendously in all aspects of life. in the spiritual side i have made two major shifts: lose the rigid loyalty to any client or booking don’t fuss about double triple bookings Basically i realize that if i lose a job or even a client, i will rise…
Rock bottom
This morning i woke up depressed. I checked my dreams and i realize this depression was due to a dream about defacating I had. I worked out in my usual routine and felt better but the heaviness was still there. Then in the afternoon i got a call for a training next week. In another…