The painful part of Management consulting

Today at my consulting assignment at a bank, i felt so strange.  As though a daily laborer, working at people’s mercy.  It is a tough position to live by.  Yet is my way of living always on the emotional edge. 

Imagine having to change your house everyday, starting a career everyday, having to be prepared to die all the time.  It is tough. yet it is the way i have chosen to make a living.  I guess all consultants live similarly.

Sometimes, i feel i want to have some certainty in my life.  But i know i could not take it.  I have this need to be always on my toes, always have the adrelin rush of the unknown lurking.

I can not stand slowness and too much familiarity.  I could not work in an office all year long, not even a month. 

I’m so in need to connect to people at levels in which i can bring change in their lives. 

I’m playing with such a fire that burns the soul, that no one sees.  I see it.  People experience its effect in lack of happiness, loss of ideas… 

I wish i didn’t see all this.  But i do.  So i have chosen  this path. 

I did not life this feeling of having to depend of people’s mercy to get my contract renewed, worse to be called the next day. 

I must work hard to build my consulting empire and that people will one day instead be afraid i will not stay. 

There is still a long way ahead.  Until then, i must always serve my customers.  I wish i could have the best of the two worlds: freelancing and a permanent job.  But it is not possible. 

Being a freelancer management consultant has its perk and pitfalls.  I must take them both.