May 15, 2020
2 min read

Listening to songs on youtube take me back to days of many years ago i had not remembered. Each correct song brings back old memories and feelings, where i had left off.

  • my singapore days
  • my life before 12 in paris
  • my budhanilktha days

Not much resonance on:

  • ku days
  • st xaviers days
  • 2004 back to nepal days
  • marriage days

why? I guess in the earlier set there was lots of pain.

In those 3 periods of life i suffered the most because i gained the most.

singapore days is mainly marked by my eternal debt to steve morris, the pulls from the spiritual world mixed with the material world. but in this period i gained so much that formed my identity for ever.

Paris was time of living in a foreign country having to keep a head straight, yet so much things to learn that i could not learn once back in nepal.

Budhanilkantha days were needless to say the harshest. I have almost no good memories. why so much pain? but again i learn all i needed to survive and fight. To this day no human relationship seems out of negotiation.

I almost had forgotten how hard a life i had as a child, an adolescent. not only that i lived with so many layers of delusions. it was a remarkable life.

if it was not for this lockdown i would have recalled these very important moments. When i think that billions of people just die never having looked back at their lives, forget in the minute details i have done.

I makes me think then how much must have i lived in the past lives then. All those memories gone? or may be i processed them and as a result i am living think wrinkle free life for me, my wife and my mother.