yesterday was a very hard day for me after lot of years in terms of spirituality. Basically goddess went rogue. Her actions violated my trust in her and my belief that she was in control of her affairs: to align intentions and actions of her mind and body with her soul. Apparently she is not in control but she is claiming she is in control and I have no way to verify one way or the other.
at first I was mad and I had resigned myself into believing that this fourth Avatar of the goddess also will be aborted. I accepted the fact that the abortion was inevitable.
however despite my anger and decision to abort the mission goddess was able to convince me that she was in control of her mind and body. Her powers did not decrease nor did her presence decrease so I had to accept her words. Maybe her logic for the violation is true or maybe it is total fictitious interpretation for actions performed out of mutiny by her mind and body. But I will give her the benefit of doubt mainly because she is able to sustain her powers. In the last three avatars when the violation occurred, the Goddess lost her powers and presence right away but this time it did not happen that way instead her strength increased.
anyways I am too old for waiting for the 5th Avatar so I might as well try this fourth Avatar till its very end.
after the event yesterday I had to meditate a lot to balance my energy is because I was so upset but the fruit of the pain was that I had this realisation that I am a true God that overseas many souls for a Divine Mission. Thus being God is nothing more than being the chairman of several organisation or conglomerate.
I feel more detached and Powerful.
I feel even free from goddess now.
maybe that was the objective of that event of violation by her.
