New feelings are rising in me. Especially that I have nothing I want to give or to take from others. However I have open to anything that others want to give or take from me.
What does that imply or even mean, I am myself confused at times and thus I am writing this blog to help myself get clarity.
So what is there to give and take:
- money
- respect
- disrespect
- pleasure
- pain
Just until last week I was meditating on my aim to be ”the president of ceo’s” as per a dream I had.
But like always my problem is that it doesn’t matter to me whether I succeed or fail, moreover i feel it is more important that I live in the present and give happiness to the people directly in my circle of influence, that is my family and in-laws.
And then there is this incessant need for me to delve into samadhi and meditation. After a month long episode of daily work I don’t want to work and submerge myself into meditation.
with every deeper layer I lose attachment and expectation but i gain acceptance and openness. I am even amazed at my own state of affairs.
The memories that earlier made me angry or upset don’t affect me like they did. I just forgive all and myself.
then I recall the prophecies I had as a 17 years old. The major one that books will be fed into me like a computer has become true with the audio book and bluetooth technology that was at that time not even concieved of.
The prophecies were:
- I will change the world
- I will become the greates man on earth
what does that mean? Till today I have undersood it.
But with all this knowledge and relevant exposures I had, and the lack of bondages, I believe my life is tending towards those prophecies , although I cannot guess how, when, where and with who. These questions are indeed irrevalent because neither can i know them, nor even i did know them , i could not influence them.
At 48, I have qualities that no human being today has, and can have. Indeed I will be the best instrument for karma to fulfill its big change. So voila i got my answer. I do nothing because even those people who have claimed to do so much and worked so hard, did so because they were part of the plot of karma, actually did nothing. They don’t know, but i know. That is the only difference.
That job of karma can’t be done by anyone except me for very good reasons. I am being prepared for that job. Moreover i might be the first person to change the world and actually enjoy the process being fully aware like an actor of a movie.
