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Most people would have read the book on relationship between man and woman, named Men are from Mars , Women are from Venus by John Gray.Â
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It basically says that the root of marital discord or any male/female conflict is due to the 2 different modes of communication. At first it worked for me but after first hand experience living with a women I have come to deeper conclusion.Â
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It is that the root of conflict in relationships are:
- high stress level due to career, child and/or in-laws
- resultant low energy state of mental/emotional/physical activities
- provocative actions performed in that state such as commenting, replying, deciding, listening, moving
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It can be said that happy people and high energy people will find it very difficult to get into conflict.Â
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While driving the above 3 conditions are best matching. Imagine a car hits another. The driver who is hit is already stressed, he is at low energy level since he is coming back from work or from a busy home, now he will say something that will filled with agitation, violence, intolerance.Â
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If the other driver is
- not stressed but relaxed
- is at high energy level
- performs actions that are peaceful
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Then there will be no conflict.Â
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But if that driver too is
- stressed
- low in energy
- not in control of what he says and does
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Then there will be conflict.Â
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I have found through numerous experiments in my management workshops that when people are
1. not stressed but relaxed
2. at high energy level
3. performs actions that are peaceful
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The way they communicate automatically becomes conducive, nonthreatening, well syntaxed, appreciative, caring: everything John Gray talks about in his book.Â
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Now John Gray might say that the energy level is the effect of communication. But my experiments have suggested the other way round too is a statiscally high phenomenon.Â
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