Blame it on stress and low energy

July 3, 2010
2 min read


Most people would have read the book on relationship between man and woman, named Men are from Mars , Women are from Venus by John Gray. 


It basically says that the root of marital discord or any male/female conflict is due to the 2 different modes of communication.  At first it worked for me but after first hand experience living with a women I have come to deeper conclusion. 


It is that the root of conflict in relationships are:

  1. high stress level due to career, child and/or in-laws
  2. resultant low energy state of mental/emotional/physical activities
  3. provocative actions performed in that state such as commenting, replying, deciding, listening, moving


It can be said that happy people and high energy people will find it very difficult to get into conflict. 


While driving the above 3 conditions are best matching.  Imagine a car hits another.  The driver who is hit is already stressed, he is at low energy level since he is coming back from work or from a busy home, now he will say something that will filled with agitation, violence, intolerance. 


If the other driver is

  1. not stressed but relaxed
  2. is at high energy level
  3. performs actions that are peaceful


Then there will be no conflict. 


But if that driver too is

  1. stressed
  2. low in energy
  3. not in control of what he says and does


Then there will be conflict. 


I have found through numerous experiments in my management workshops that when people are

1. not stressed but relaxed

2.  at high energy level

3.  performs actions that are peaceful


The way they communicate automatically becomes conducive, nonthreatening, well syntaxed, appreciative, caring: everything John Gray talks about in his book. 


Now John Gray might say that the energy level is the effect of communication.  But my experiments have suggested the other way round too is a statiscally high phenomenon.