My story of complex choices

Fri, Jan 4, 2019

On Life/Success

At times I wonder if i am not wasting my life away. with my intellect and creativity and leadership power, i could have done so much more like continuing with a company and make it as big as it could get. But i would have to team up with greedy and unethical people. It would have dislodged my bliss, so it was a straight ‘no’.

i couldn’t live and work with greedy people

I have no regret but a doubt is still there: what if I had met the right people who could make use of my talent to its full extent? unfortunately I am too different for anyone to be able to figure out what to do with me.

what’s this: a gun, a key, an ornament?

But if i had to choose with between :

  • certainty to greatness among men but with bliss in oblivion
  • certainty to infinite bliss among gods but with greatness in oblivion

I would choose the same bliss in every life-time. Not that i believe in a world of gods. it just means a world other than the one we see on TV and the internet.

matrix : choose the red pill or blue pill

Lure of being a billionaire

I can’t even handle the few millions I have, I don’t want to have the burden to spend billions, invest them, then re-invest them in this perpetual machine of dissatisfaction, lack, unhappiness, excess, status. F*ck off. I don’t need that life even if came for free through birth.

yes of course the pictures like the above makes us drool the life of the billionaires. But should i live a life of deceit, neglect, irresponsibility, unending liability, greed , constant fear, loss of freedom so that one day a jerk like me sees a pics that another jerk took of my consolation prize, thus feeling lower than me, wishing he could have a piece of my life? F*ck off!

If i want to explore the sea, I will use a cruise ship: thanks.

So being a billionaire is no more in my agenda, not because i don’t know how which was true until a few months ago. As usual in my life, once i know the game, I quit it. So i figured out the game of billionaires, so I dropped it because i was not willing to pay the price: my soul.

How will my story end?

Frankly i don’t know. I have made fun of every rules of success of men:

  • quit jobs
  • quit partners
  • listen to my heart
  • not to be insecure and care about security given by law
  • quit my own entrepreneurship idea after 2 years
  • not to be up-to-date with current news
  • retire at 42
  • position myself as a lone philosopher on social media

what awaits me at the end of the tunnel, i don’t know. Definitely there will be :

  • no pension
  • no dividend
  • no stocks
  • no lottery wins

But everything else is possible, things that I can’t think of now but i can only broadly categorise:

  • immense learning
  • immense wealth
  • contact with great personalities
  • immense impact on society
  • immense bliss
I wish someone would read me my own life-story