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Missing the old life

Mon, Jun 8, 2020

On Life/Success

i don’t know why this corona came, who it benefited. may be no one. but it benefited by spiritual journey. the leaps i made i could not make otherwise. i would have had to wait till i was 70 years old: i could not stop while the world was moving. but then the world stopped, i stopped like everyone else. then while they got frustrated, i took the leaps inside to depths and heights that would not be possible to a family man or even a meditator who got used to the comforts of modern life.

I had this dream telling me november 1st week will be next training. it seems to be true. i don’t see any one calling me to pay me for a training in this situation till then. it feels strange. i fixed everything i miss using my routine:

dreams : for the unknowns, the thrills, the disappointments, the excitedments, the surprise, meeting for new people, new message

the videos: for the connection, the need to be productive, the ability to express myself

the rest of the routine: perfect inner peace

the evening coffee: for getting a view like i used to get in nagarkot, dhulikhel, kakani.

before i thougth i wished to go to paris and singapore. now i wish to go to baneshor or even boudha.

it will be a very long time i will get the old days back of travel, the hotels, the respect, the expectations, the wow effect, the power, and yes the money.

but again the progress i made in my spiritual life is uncomparable or it makes up for everything.

I wonder if i will ever be able to make a living again at times. i would need to get into some operational roles but then there is no need for me to do so financially so i will not do it. instead i will wait for work of advisory level but when?

I am afraid i will the last category to get paid work. but even it is so, i must not be worried.