Lately I am fixated on my past life as Sariputa especially as I read books about Buddha. So now I recall 3 lives: atisha and rupa goswami.
Slowly I am rising above being Manohar and being a summation of all my past lives. It is not simple. But I am experiencing a new state of being.
I believe more lives will be revealed over time.
But the most important is the amazing height of consciousness I have achieved even in terms of buddhahood or krishna consciousness. Today I am able to see clearly the 3 modes in total clarity, to avoid being pulled by any of the 3 modes without my will.
Also I am able to see the effect of karma: which ones are balancing from this life and which from past lives. I can also see which karma are individual, which are collective and which are universal trends.
Most significant change I am feeling is that before I felt that I needed a career to exist. Now I feel that people need me and only those with deserving karma will get me through my career. This means that the souls that have karma with me to learn will have to meet me via my trainings. For that their organizations and associated ones will have to work to get them in front of me.
Even in these 3 past lives I must have had millions of students who need to meet me again. Many must have taken birth after 15 years, thus I am meeting more of them. They must be coming in around 15 years later and continuing. Those in my age or generation seem to be enemies, competitors, comtemporaries, who did not have great regards about me. It is a natural universal planning waiting for me to reach my prime before the devoted ones to be born.
Thus I am feeling much more anchored.
The most powerful skill i developed is be in samadhi at will because basically I have no more worries since I know it call and I can align all events since I hold the keys to universal karmic system.
Now I must learn how to reach my master and friend , the buddha in samadhi state. This is where I will be going after dying and not returning this time.
I have a life time to practice this state. Once I master it there will be other states for sure but then it is ok for now.
