I feel like renunciant. I feel i don’t belong to this world or to any world, except mine. I feel a pull from my inner being. I don’t abide to the rules of the world.
If the world followed my rules, what would happen? i have not thought about it because i didn’t design those rules for the mass. Definitely the world would be miserable following my ways because it is not in my level of consciousness.
I have moved far far away from the consciousness of normal majority of people. I still recall my consciousness when i was a child, and how it is different now. My awareness is ever growing, changing. It is necessary because many things i did in the past could not have been done with the consciousness i have today. At that time i had to be illusioned in certain ways.
But i feel so detached. I can feel detachment from the need of detachment itself. That is how i am able to accept the life of the family man I am in this life.
Will anyone know who I am? The world would benefit a lot from my life. But for now, i need my privacy.
I am not anyone, i have come with a mission and also the ability to hide myself.
I recall all my teachers in this life and past lives. I don’t know their names anymore, but they don’t need their names to be recalled anyway. They have advanced beyond such vanity. They live eternally in the field. I don’t know if any one has taken birth to help me in my mission. They should have because alone i cannot to do it.
It would be shame that i don’t create this new lineage in this lifetime in which i was able to complete all my karmas i could not in my past lives by 45. But certain things are beyond my control and the field will decide. If i can’t fulfill my mission, I will continue with my existing routines until i die. But i wish i was given all the help i needed.
My life is incomparable. I am born to bring a new message to the world. yet no one can trap me, nothing can trap me: that is the condition i applied to my life. I will not be a martyr. I love my freedom too much to give it up for the welfare of even humankind. To me i feel it will find its own way with or without me.
