I had a great career. I can’t imagine that it ends at 46 like for millions of people due to corona virus. I have no complaints. I just miss it. There was no problems with it. I enjoyed the pleasures and pains it gave me. The uncertainty was there but that it was gave the thrill and the time to renew myself.
I just remember how I thought I would spend the coming 5 years until my son finished school as a consultant at a bank. Now it is not happening.
I just feel sad.
I can’t speak these thoughts and feelings to people around me because they can’t do anything and it is the fate of billions of people.
I miss my clients. They had become like friends but I could not cross the line because it is not me. So now I am not in contact with anyone because it is just the way I am: a professional. The chats and interaction on the job is the most and the main thing I enjoyed. It was short but it was the best. Now it is not coming back.
I was so important, so needed. I was the solution. I was the centre of attention. I was the life. Now none of this is happening.
I know something else will come and it might not come ever again. For me to have a career the world must stand up on its feet.
May be if I was in the usa I would still have work even in times like this, may be even more. But that would be meaningless because I would not be suffering with the world.
I feel like an old man about to die looking back at his life knowing that he can’t have it again, not in this lifetime.
One day when you will read this, you will know I too suffered the same fate as billions others. I might have rose that is why you are reading this.
