These past 3 months have been very different than the last 15 years since i started my career in Nepal. I’ve never been so jobless ever. But i was able to give full time to my idea. That too hasn’t worked out. Failure after failure. Yet I’m happy. Having succeeded so much i can afford even more failure and no pay days. I’ve got enough cash flow from investments that i needed work and enjoy net worth that my child can study at Harvard without pain. But I’m just 44 and i must inspire the nepali people that we too can make billion dollar business. That’s all that it is remaining to the coming 40 years of my life.
At times i feel i just want to die and end this misery from continuous failure in my ventures both to make my idea into a stable business model and to find work as trainer.
I guess men are so tied to their work that this feeling is natural.
Though a new meditation technique two days back i felt i died but my body was intact. In perfected this sensation through meditation time and exercise time.
Now i can feel dead emotionally mentally and spiritually and this body is going on.
This space i go to when i die in these planes is wonderful and like 100 times the joy of sex. But that sensation too I’ve got used to but no madness.
So yes I’ve attained this death like stage while living.
