Fear and Indecision

June 4, 2009
2 min read

I consider myself so lucky to be able to live all four-folds of life simultaneously: the brahmacharya, the householder, the career man and the renunciant.  I’ll talk more about them in details in another post.  Now i want to talk about the great leverage this simultaneous 4-fold life style gives to me and if you choose the concept to you too.

Today i am living the renunciant part of the 4-fold life plan.  It means i dare to look into myself and ask myself deep questions.  Today i asked myself: why am i so afraid?  Yesterday i had already uprooted the cause of many fears.  One of them was , “What if i dont’ get any more work?” As i tell my customers, the work of management consultant/trainer who is freelance like having to find a job everyday.  Most people at best have to find a job only every 5 years in a lifetime.  But i have chosen this path because i am different.  I could not be happy with a permanent job no matter how well it could remove the above fear “What if i don’t get any more work?”

The Brahmarcharya aspect of the 4-fold life plan helps in making decisions about which direction to go in life. 

So coming back to my fears. I solved the fear of  “What if i don’t get any more work?”  by transforming myself into a super salesman. It is working.  It is hard though. All metamorphism is hard, isn’t it. 

As for today’s fear, i could not get it out of my system  Finally, as usual i wrote down what was causing the fear.  It read like “To call This person or not” , “To Email that person or not.” “to visit that person or not” “to sms that person or not” 

As i listed , i had about 50 plus such situations of indecisions related to my career or business.  No wonder i was full of fear. 

Immediately, i picked the phone, and decided to call 5 people and propose my ideas.  I emailed another 5 and i visited 1 person and smsed another 5.  Still many people are left to be contacted but now i know how grave my indecision that had piled up thanks to my super-busyness , is. 

I made the formula CEVS (call , Email, Visit and sms).  It’s good for business but most i finally realize it is good for my soul more than anything.