My heart is so heavy today because I look ahead into my diary and there is nothing. I both scared & frustrated. My idea has failed so far. I just don’t know what to do now.
Usually I always have an answer but after my last experiment failed, I’m totally disillusioned and that’s good.
Specially today I just felt it was better I was dead that having to continuously fail like this. Every failure brings with it days of emptiness. I’m used to this state since child hood. But it’s never easy.
Other’s cope with this feeling by getting addicted to something and associating with friends.
But since I’m not into either of them, Im on my own staring at this huge mountain I can’t cross , nor can I really go back. I’ve come this far but can’t see a way to the top.
No investor will back me up at this point and I don’t really need a salary. I’d be doing the same but only thing is that I’ d be indebted to someone for things I don’t need.
I only see one path. I’ve decided to take it. I guess I’m just remniscing just to be sure I’ m confident about it.
People are so happy to be busy & not be burdened by a vision like mine , I’m not interested.
