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I shut them down

Wed, Mar 6, 2019

On Life/Success

Finally i gave the order to close down my two companies.

It took me 4 months to deliberate on this decisions. It was a tough decision because there were so many emotions attached to it. I hoped to become a billionaire from them. But within a year i realized that I was never going to succeed because i wasn’t built to be an entrepreneur: I am a philosopher. I could have made a great king but i could not go through the pain of creating an empire. you can call it laziness but this is who I am , whatever label you give me.

i know the story of my two great ideas will not end here. They will re-surface in the next 9 year cycle. But I also know it is pointless to think so big without a team. In that team I will be a part, although a major one.

the time of these two ideas:

  1. exit a business when you want and enter a business when you want
  2. management problems must be solved scientifically

will come. I hope these ideas will include me in the future.

For now, I have departed from the idea that I can become rich by running these companies. I just couldn’t see myself, sitting with lawyers, auditors, shareholders, staffs to make a living.

How was I so deluded into thinking i could make such a immense ideas work? it was the incessant emotions of doom in me that propelled me. I had to go through this pain. but now the story is over.

I should be sad but I know that i lost so little and gained so much.

So now i am set to be a freelancer till i die. yes even if one day, i become part of such a team that can materialize my ideas, then also i will live a freelancer in that team with no administrative role.

The question is then, what is my next move?

I see more training and additional consulting work that is based on clear deliverables. No more retainers as it puts in a CEO type of role.

will i feel this way till next year? most likely yes because it is my natural state since i was young.