Finally i gave the order to close down my two companies.
It took me 4 months to deliberate on this decisions. It was a tough decision because there were so many emotions attached to it. I hoped to become a billionaire from them. But within a year i realized that I was never going to succeed because i wasn’t built to be an entrepreneur: I am a philosopher. I could have made a great king but i could not go through the pain of creating an empire. you can call it laziness but this is who I am , whatever label you give me.
i know the story of my two great ideas will not end here. They will re-surface in the next 9 year cycle. But I also know it is pointless to think so big without a team. In that team I will be a part, although a major one.
the time of these two ideas:
- exit a business when you want and enter a business when you want
- management problems must be solved scientifically
will come. I hope these ideas will include me in the future.
For now, I have departed from the idea that I can become rich by running these companies. I just couldn’t see myself, sitting with lawyers, auditors, shareholders, staffs to make a living.
How was I so deluded into thinking i could make such a immense ideas work? it was the incessant emotions of doom in me that propelled me. I had to go through this pain. but now the story is over.
I should be sad but I know that i lost so little and gained so much.
So now i am set to be a freelancer till i die. yes even if one day, i become part of such a team that can materialize my ideas, then also i will live a freelancer in that team with no administrative role.
The question is then, what is my next move?
I see more training and additional consulting work that is based on clear deliverables. No more retainers as it puts in a CEO type of role.
will i feel this way till next year? most likely yes because it is my natural state since i was young.