Story on Self-motivation: Tara

 

This is the story of Tara, a woman I met in Singapore.  She is the richest woman in Asia but no body knows her. 

 

Once upon a time, there was a college.  In that college there were three friends.  One was a boy by the name of Sam, the other a girl called Tara and the third was a boy called Zafar.  Sam was a realist. He came from a family of well-established professionals: his father was lawyer and his mother was a professor.  Tara was highly motivated, so much that all used to wonder where this light of motivation came from.  Zafar had a bad childhood.  He was raised in an abusive environment where people talked with their hands before they could move their tongues.  Tara too had a difficult childhood but it was not bad.  She was raised by a single mother because her father left them for another woman.  Sam had a happy childhood, you may say, if you think that being surrounded with many toys, eating in the finest restaurants and sleeping in the most beautiful house means happiness.  The downside was that he rarely ever met his parents. 

 

Three different people found something in common between them that sustained their friendships: curiosity about life, enquiry into the purpose of life and just a sanctuary away from the harsh realities of life. 

 

They all used to do everything together: study, bunk classes, eat, travel. One time in the first year, for some reason, all of the three happened to get much lower results than they had expected.  Sam became depressed and started crying, blaming himself, telling himself how worthless he was.  Zafar on the other hand became red with anger and first banged the tables in the classroom and went to shout with the teacher.  The teacher did not give in and Zafar left the teacher’s room threatening and even pushing the teacher with his hands.  Everyone was shocked.  Tara on the other hand showed no reaction.  Instead she gave a smile and cringed her forehead.  Baffled Sam asked her, “What are you smiling about?” She said, “I just remembered something wrong I had written on my papers and am smiling because thank goodness I did not fail! I was lucky”.  Zafar came back to them and Sam was almost scared of him.  Tara on the other hand put a hand on his shoulder and told him, “It is ok.  What you did, you did. Now just cool down.”

 

One time in the college there was a strike.  Zafar found this as a great opportunity to vent off his anger and made lots of noise.  Sam sheepishly followed the rest.  Zafar even got himself in trouble because he hit a passer by while in his rage.  The stranger was an army lieutenant.  Tara had stayed out of the strike.  She had nothing to gain from his exhibition of frustration.  To her life was too precious to waste on trying to get what you don’t deserve.  Yes, her friends will be angry with her but so what?  If I am right, I will not need to support of a mad foolish crowd.  Hearing of Zafar’s problem, however Tara went down and resolved the conflict.  Zafar was sparred much trouble, because of Tara’s intervention. 

 

Years passed and all three graduated of college.  As they had guessed the job market was full of graduates like them.  For almost 3 months none of them got a job.  Sam was sad, depressed.  Zafar as usual came back from interviews having sworn at the interviewer.  Tara on the other hand, came back with a smile and thinking what she had learnt from the people she had met. Tara, Sam and Zafar used to meet in a coffee shop at the end of the day and the typical conversation would be Sam, saying, “I did not get a job because they know what a useless chap I am.” Zafar would say, “I did not get a job because they hate my guts!”.  Then Tara would say, “I did not get a job because it is not yet time for me to get a job, I must first experience what it feels like to be unemployed like so many youths are.” 

 

Finally at the end of the seventh month, like magic each got a placement.  May be there was something in this friendship.  Sam got a job in a big private organization.  Zafar got a job in a government body since they rely mostly on written exams and qualification and Zafar was great in those aspect except relationships.  Tara on the other hand landed in a small but fast growing company that was mainly a one-man show by the boss.

 

Ten years passed and in the 11^th year of service, the country was plunged into a deep economic recession and many jobs were being lost.  It was no exception for the three of our friends.  Recession took away many jobs and all three of the friends were taken out of their jobs after 10 years of service. 

 

Sam, Tara and Zafar were married, had a family.  That was the common part, but the  loss of job had different impact on their psychology  and consequent actions, as all the earlier situations had on them.  Sam became depressed.  Zafar became angry and was on his way to the court to file a lawsuit against the government.  Tara who was always optimistic, this time was really down.  She was hurt not only financially but her ego was shattered.  She never thought she would be asked to leave.  She had done everything right.  Moreover she had so many dreams to expand that small company into a multi-national corporation.  But what hurt the three of them the most was the question, “How to raise their families with now half the income?” Again coincidently all of them had their spouse still working.  Sam spent his days at home, drinking in the night, smoking from morning on.  Zafar was busy making a group to fight the forced retirement act.  Tara was filled with self-doubt. She received a letter to attend a workshop on self-motivation.  It cost lots of money but she decided it was better than feeling sorry for herself forever. 

 

In the workshop she was asked to believe in herself, that was great.  She did but in a few days that believe would be shattered with negative self-talk.  Page 1

 

Then she practiced the second step, which required the person to change the self-talk from negative to positive by force.  So she repeated to herself, “I am winner.  I am failed before, I have experienced worse cases than this before.  I overcame all my difficulties and this time also I am going to win.  I am not a looser.  I am a winner.  I do not doubt in myself. I believe in myself.”This worked for one week but soon she felt her motivation level drop again. 

 

She remembered the next step which was to have a sense of mission.  She went back to her early days.  Then in college she felt that her mission was to create a great chain of hotels, industries and airlines like no one in the world to give the best to the people and provide jobs.  Somewhere in the process she had forgotten.  She began to think that life was all about working hard to impress the boss and for the next promotion: it became her pervaded mission.  So she recalled her mission and she felt now driven.  Then she began to miss going to work.  She recalled how fun it was to go to work, mix with colleagues and get paid at the end of the month without any worries. 

 

Then she recalled the next step of self-motivation.  She asked herself, “Why was she working?” She thought hard.  “To earn money.” But why asked herself, “To feed my family.” Then she asked herself, “Why do I have to think of the old job?” There was no reason.  She needed a job to feed her family. It could be any job.  She was now over her blues with the last company.  But as she came across many vacancies, she could not come to a decision.  Something was not right.  She again felt depressed. 

 

The trainer had told her “Align your values”.  What did she really value now?  She valued independence, enterprise, courage, nourishing others and privacy.  Taking a job would not align to her values and thus she made up her mind to start her own business. 

Her husband told her to go ahead.  But then she asked her, “But I would not be able to contribute to our family expense.”  The husband who still had a job said, “Our children are still young.  We don’t need so much money yet.  We have been saving your income for the past 5 years already.  So we still have plenty.  My job is safe.  Now what you need to do is to focus on your mission and what you value.  You don’t need to bring in a paycheck at the end of the month for the next 2 years.  That would be enough time for you to get established.”  Tara was relieved and she began her business.  She was so enthusiastic but at times she would feel like giving up. 

 

The workshop had taught her to make a group of similar minded people and encourage one other.  Truly this idea worked for Tara and along with her entrepreneur friends she grew her business.  But soon the business made lots of demands and she could not give time to her family.  Having lost a child to a miscarriage she valued family above all.  She was low in energy. 

 

She had to set a priority. She thus became like a master juggler.  She gave up lots of profit by hiring more and more staffs to help her create time for herself.  But some of the staff left her business to start their own stealing her clients.  Tara felt down and cheated. She was again de-motivated to continue her business.  

 

The workshop had taught her that to be self-motivated you must be the best.  So she kept improving the quality of her products and services.  She did not care if some staff were cheaters.  They could copy her products but they could not copy her energy level and that was what her clients came for.  But times were hard, other people were making much more money by illegal means.  Many of her entrepreneur friends took huge loans they never meant to pay back and enjoyed a hi-fi life while she was always honestly paying the debts, making savings.  But she wondered, she began to doubt herself.

 

The workshop had taught her to hold the correct world-view.  There was no doubt that everyone wanted success. It was just the means to it that differed.  In her point of view hard work was most important.  But her trainer had told her, that hard work was not enough, financial intelligence was required too.  She had remembered that and she thus spent less, saved more and invested her savings.  As a result she became richer every year.  More over her honesty earned her a great reputation and she was asked to become partner to a big company because they wanted her to lead the company.  Her high energy, determination and qualities earned her more and more partnerships. 

 

Today she runs a financial power-house in Singapore.  Her investment company owns stocks of no less than 5% in all the major multi-national corporations, chains of hotels and airlines.  All this is because she was self-motivated thanks to the workshop. 

 

You might be wondering why I did not mention anything about Sam and Zafar.  Well, Tara contacted them on a regular basis and tried to teach them what she had learnt and applied from the workshop but they said it was all non-sense and just a way to trick the mind.  “Who can change reality if it as lousy as mine?” Sam said.  Sam is now working as a clerk, one of the oldest, in another big organization.  Sam never knew it but Tara had applied some source force so that he got that job.  Zafar said, “Motivation doesn’t come from within, it comes from winning your battles.”  He apparently won the lawsuit against the government, he got lots of promotion, made lots of money.  However, his wife left him, his children became drug addicts, one left him for the USA. He was blinded by ambition. “He won an empty victory”, Tara used to say.

 

I never had the chance to meet Sam and Zafar but from Tara description of them, I can imagine how they looked: I know so many Sam’s and Zafar’s. On the other hand, I felt lucky to know Tara personally.  I don’t know any other like her.  Page 2 Tara