Who’s calling the shots?

November 9, 2018
2 min read

After last year I really got confused on who or what is guiding my life.

For so long I thought visualization was what made my life happen. But the things that come in life are beyond visualization because you can’t think of them. How can we visualize something we can’t think of?

Nothing I visualized about my business materialized except the learning & growing part. I was a total failure, I think now.

But I’m not going to discuss that now. I just want to know who is calling the shots in my life?

Numerology surprisingly matches my life. So what? These numbers guiding our lives?

I realized after reading my dream diaries that dreams also correlated strongly with life events.

My inner guidance also matched life events and correlated strongly with numerology.

My ego most of the time was apposite to my dreams. when I was excited, dreams showed frozen knees. When I was depressed, they showed flying.

2018 Tihar Nov, I’m just unsure how this coming year will unfold. It just seems someone is writing my script.

At night I used to visualize before sleeping but now I have nothing to visualize.

Last year I took a tremendous risk. Failure was almost certain. But then it would be handsightbias.

Even my desires are being shaped by something.

What do I want? I don’t know anymore.

I retired 2 years ago but now god has got new plans for me. There’s no other way to explain my life.

Maybe it is karma and the general principle I must have laid in my past life.

I’m not angry with even the one’s I think cheated me.

I’m consumed with the bliss of not knowing. Even if I become a big success I’ve got routines to support it & even if nothing materalizes I’ve got routines to support.

may be finding those routines were the most important part of the last two years.