New way to see marital problems

October 17, 2010
2 min read

Much has been written about the problems stress is causing marital relationships.  Then even more is talked about the stress caused by marital relationships.  But i want to show it from a totally different perspective. 

Before people had to run away from their home to find solitude.  Apparently, their spouse loved them so much that they could in no manner leave them.  This was called attachement. This was called Samsara. 

Buddha ran away from his wife afraid that her love would bind him and prevent him from getting nirvana. 

But it is so different now.  The stress of modern life bring so much rift between husband and wife witout any malice from one another’s part, that one thing a yogi needs not worry about is that his/her spouse will stop her from searching for nirvana. 

A tip for all spouses out there.  See i can’t leave home like Buddha did but i still have a shot at nirvana because i use the time my spouse and myself i torn by the rift made of stress, to continue my practice of mukti.  It is crazy in one way but the way i have been using the rhythm of marital closeness and distance, i have reached unimaginably far into sprititualism. 

Then as hindus that this common framework that marriage is ‘really’ forever or at least in this lifetime, the rift disappears as though nothing ever happened.  In our part of the world this is called ‘loge swasni ko jhagada paral ko aago’.  Meaning the quarrel between husband and wife is like the fire from hay which appears suddenly large but extinguishes so suddenly also. 

By using this ‘rifted periods’ in my relationship with my spouse, i have achieved progress that i am satisfied with.  In short marriage has not stopped by quest for spritual advancement. 

So next time you get into a quarrel with your spouse, remember:

1. It is a rhythm like a pendulum.  it is going to come back.  But if you leave by then, you will never experience happiness

2.  Quarrel in marriage is like hay fire.  I will explain why, in another blog.

3.  That time is made not to concoct revenge plans or go ahead and do stupid things but to imagine you are in a pilgrimage and practice in order to progress spritually like ancients did by leaving home. 

Best of luck.