It is strange morning today I am in my office in Baneshwar. I feel like doing nothing and I know it is my luxury that even if I don’t want to do anything well I will not talk to this because of that.
People my think I am a loser and nothing will stop them from thinking that way and the worst part is that I want to live in bother trying to convince them otherwise. I have always revelled in knowing that watch might be un-desirable for others is say about desirable for me. Maybe I think it is the Aghori in me that is thinking this way and I have no objection in the I saying it is totally right for me to saying this way because the whole world is going a stray in thinking that you have to conform with the traditional approach or the un-traditional approach of Living. So if you have to give me a label then outcome myself the un- traditional un-traditional if that makes any sense.
What is the purpose of life if not to be able to earn enough money so that you can just lean back and ponder over your past and about the infinite universe that is still un-discovered, un-sought or un-known.
it baffles me to think that I am here maybe the only one to carry the thinking style, belief system that I have. It is also even more baffling that upon my death no one will know that the great findings that I have made in the course my life. Before this, I used to think this was burden on me and I felt that the knowledge that I had was the load that I had to let go off. However in the last few months something shifted in me and this old concept of burden just relinquished off my psyche. Now it doesn’t matter if anybody takes what I have or yes I have to die we what I have. I don’t know we just feel like I have reached certain state of immortality. That is a very weird thought out say even in my standard of weirdness. Now lately I feel that the knowledge they have will be carried into next lives and that’s it will be passed over to the person who can carry it over when the time is right even if in this life I wouldn’t be able to do it. So really I am talking like an enlightened one. The question then is whether I am really enlightened or am I a mad man. The title of mad man would not bother me also.
The most important thing have always been for me to have the time and mental Emptiness to be able to think of anything on the sun. I know this is strange requirement. People would rather have lots of money and lots of power as a requirements for existence. So yes I am different not in the sense that I am crazy but more in the sense that what motivate me is very difficult to understand.
Even if I’ll look at myself I don’t think anybody will think that I am somebody that you should follow. I have this innate disaste for having followers. I attribute this concept of mine to my past life which were filled with numerous followers. So yes in this life maybe I just decided at had enough of followers and chose to be the master of my own with no followers.
As I look outside my window, I can see the world’s hasn’t stopped because I have stopped and maybe that is the beauty of existence that I can stop and the world’s will go on.
The most cherished thing that people should have his moments like I am having. Most of the I wanted and needed I acquired and there are few remaining things that are in front of me but which wont kill me if I don’t acquire them. And that’s I have this luxury to pontificate.
Who would ever bother to listen to my blabbering let alone to invest time to listen to it. Yet such acts of Madness have their place in our life. And again this is luxury.
