No morning blues have occurred since months. This a a state of depression i wake to most mornings since decades. I experienced the first bout in the afternoon while on a visit to a hospital with my mother when i was 20. What seemed like many voices shouting loud told me that i couldn’t do anything and that I’m doomed, attacked my mind. This is the same sensation i get in mornings that i call morning blues.
The problem seemed to seemed to end after i quit bindu hardware. After that i was able to give my full time in my own enterprise. The last 2 months were hard but this eat the first time i worked for myself. I’m not able to pay myself but I’m just so happy and relieved. In the morning i try to depress myself by thinking things like what if i fail but the blues come a bit and vanish.
What conclusion I’m coming to is that this morning blues was a reminder for me not to forget my mission in this life
To set an example and be the pioneer in the new lineage of BEL balanced enlightened liberated living, who is a combination of Buddha and Bill Gates.
This is my destiny.
For up til 42 years i was a freelancer and god gave be unthinkable jobs that made me richer than anyone in terms of money and time. It was necessary for me to finish my inner mission
To free myself of my inner Tara. I cannot divulge more on this topic in this public forum because unscrupulous well meaning followers may try this out out of context that will be extremely harmful to them and negative karma will ensue to me.
At 42 i completed my inner final quest. Then the time to start my second half of life began.
I was making money, had time, had work , and i could continue like this forever if i didn’t rock the boat by following the employers i was then working for.
If i struck with any of my past employer I’d be very rich, powerful now but i would be empty inside.
But all those engagement was gods timepass and pocket money things he gave me so i could :
Finish my first mission
Build a house
Make a name for myself
Learn all the realities and skills of business
Earn enough to run a household
At 42 basically like always i subconsciously sabotaged my existing jobs. Yes i could resign right away but my conscious mind would need to be 20 years older to be able to take such decision when times were so good.
Now at 44 I’ve graduated from entrepreneurship god university.
I have nothing left yet I’m undettered. I’m not depressed even though the chances of failure are so high and the hard work needed is unimaginable. Yet i know I’m finally on track to reach my destination.
I saw in a dream who i was in my past life and it all came back to me after some research . In this life i have to build an empire from a thought without money but from scratch. For 42 years i wasnt able to find the idea on which to base this empire . Then it came to be slowly and then at 44 the idea had now got am the foundation needed to be a multi billion global empire run by me alone or even a small outfit of few millions again run by me alone.
The idea is so complex that it can’t make most money easily. But by reading all the right books given by god i managed to reach my destination without any loss of money time and hope.
Now i need to look for work but again this is tied in to the same idea.
Looking for training work is selling my idea.
Before i was too busy mastering entrepreneurship to work.
People are scared to having to ask for work but that’s the bread and butter for entrepreneurs. Even so called super entrepreneurs stop selling and get lost in the operations. This might happen to me too when my idea reaches fruition but for now it is many years away. I’m not scared for asking for work especially that notes or ties to my idea.
My father in this life said I’d a be a president.
One day I’ll be the president of my own multi billion dollar idea turned company. I’d work only 2 hours a day and the rest of the time will be for my soul.
The morning blues were a way to remind me in no uncertain ways to not forget my mission.
To the world i say yes i can fail and if i do ill get a job.
But inside of me i know there’s not even a thought of failure because good is the script writer and over already seen the script. At least I’ve felt it and I’m accostumed to such feelings enough to understand them.
It has been a long post after many months. I didn’t work out today instead i spent this hour writing this important thought.