It is so hard for me to be a leader. All my career I was the best follower who understood my leader’s vision instantly and was able to devise a whole series of actions to materialize it. Again as the best follower even my plans were like a shadow dancer of a hero. And to top it all, I never felt the urge to take credit for success . After all was done, my leaders would shamelessly take all the credit and loot. I allowed it and preferred it that way so I could move on. Where I failed,I paid compensation voluntarily sometimes directly , others indirectly.
I took up the responsibility for these leader’s visions.
Now I have decided to be the leader in the remaining years of my life. It’s so hard. Secretly I wish I could again be a follower. But I know my secret and so it is no more a secret.
I’m scared of the responsibility that comes by being a leader. As a leader I will have to stick to a single vision, philosophy , to be willing to fight the opposition, to take care of my followers, to be willing to lose inner peace for external success of my organization.
Every thing else I have done as a follower from strategy to execution to operation. There is no doubt I will succeed once I start. Thus starting is the hardest part. I can say I am deliberately delaying my start. When time will come I will not even have to decide to start, destiny will just suck me in .
