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Finding god again

Fri, Jun 22, 2018

Spiritual Side

My life has taken amazing turns. Just recently after a client ended my work over email i felt really angry and even a bit hopeless and disillusioned. I thought may be my retainer package was at fault even though i knew it was his fault and it was meant to be. I even had premonitions about it despite all good times.

But I’m human and thus emotional. I guess i wish i could talk about these things to someone but there is no body who’d listen the way it needs to be except me.

Being married should have helped but a wife isn’t a friend or a counselor. Once you come to this conclusion nothing really bothers you in life. This is true freedom.

In this last year many things i believed I’m my career got shattered. I lost all my retainer clients this year. It’s not only the loss of income but the need to make new routines that affected me.

I wish it was as easy as to blame them or even me but the truth is that i out grew these jobs.

What amazes me is that i have no friend i know it but enemies also i have none. These people make enemies of friends and thus enemies they must have so many.

I got a bit touchy because of the last termination of project but i quickly got my act together. No one found out. This is the way i want it.

Just today i closed a deal for a new retainer. In fact the closed me. I played along. So my calender had two regular bars per week at least for the next year.

My business idea hasn’t given any cash and it’s natural but I’ve developed the business model. Now i need to take it the the next level. One ex student of mine is offering to follow me. I wish he was serious. Truly lately I’m demoralised. I’ve managed to turn away any follower.

From all this turmoil in my career i fell back into reading the gita to find guidance and i found it. As if it was meant to be. I found god again.

Today i see his finger print in most places of my life and career.

Good.